Thursday, May 14, 2009

Fun Jokes: Husband and Wife

A pair of old husband and wife half the equally busy with the business feel tired with the bustle in the capital. They decided to holiday in Bali. They plan will occupy the back room of the hotel that same hotel when they did their honeymoon 30 years ago. Due to busy, the husband must first fly and his wife follow tomorrow day.

After check-in at the hotel in Bali, he immediately sends email through computer with internet available in rooms. With joy he wrote to his wife intercommunication email that are in her office in Jakarta. Unfortunately, he send an email to his wife with wrong address, without aware he still send email.

In other places, in the area of Bandung, a woman just returned from the funeral her husband who recently died. Arriving at home, she immediately check email to read the greeting condolence. Recently finished reading the first email, she was not immediately aware of unconscious self. her first Child shock and then read the email and then not long he fell unconscious

too. Email it read:

To: My beloved wife
Subject: papa up Ma!
Date: 14 August 2008

I know you can be surprised but happy news from me. In fact here they are pairs of the internet as well, though we can send a news to those beloved home. I am just come and have to check-in. They said, they also have to prepare everything for you that will come tomorrow. I can not wait for your coming. Hopefully your journey to come here also fun as I travel today.

Love you mam, Papah

PS: Here again-summer heat. If you want to, children are also invited.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Kid Joke: Cop and Little Girl

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. 'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?' 'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!' The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!' The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?' Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!' The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa; The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top !'

Kid Joke

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Funny birthday quotes

By Shaina Monfils

Funny birthday quotes aren't hard to find these days, because when it comes to getting older, there's always something to joke about. Having a sense of humor about your age can help to make birthdays a little easier to stomach. For example, here are some funny birthday quotes spoken by well-known comedians and celebrities:

"There is still no cure for the common birthday."
- John Glenn

"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the heck happened."
- Cora Harvey Armstrong

"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."
- Sam Ewing

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."
- Anonymous

"Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed."
- Anthony Powell

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
- Robert Frost

"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm five I'll be 64."
- Anonymous

"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday."
- Stephen Wright

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
- Mark Twain

"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."
- Phyllis Diller

"In dog years, I'm dead."
- Anonymous

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up."
- Harry Hershfield

"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ''At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
- Claude D. Pepper

Of course, not everyone dreads getting older. Many people choose to put a positive spin on the inevitable passing of time. Check out these inspirational funny birthday quotes:

"It is not how old you are, but how you are old."
- Marie Dressler

"Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts."
- Martin Buxbaum

"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once."
- Dave Barry

"Youth is a disease from which we all recover."
- Dorothy Fulheim

"You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience."
- Anonymous

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."
- Bernard Baruch

No matter how you choose to see it, birthdays are a great opportunity to have a few laughs and make peace with getting older. And funny birthday quotes sure make that easier to do!

For more information on funny pranks, jokes, and cartoons, check out Family Fun Cartoons today!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaina_Monfils http://EzineArticles.com/?Funny-Birthday-Quotes&id=1552479

Monday, February 16, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Kids Jokes

Kids Jokes : Naughty Boy

kids jokes

Others Resources for Funny Photos :
Praying
Baby Dance
Place to Sleep
Baby in Basket

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Dead Elephant

A dead elephant in a zoo because of old age. Hear that zoo managers are doing it, and finally he found a large elephant with a heavy 1 ton sprawling dead. In addition to the elephant was seen a zoo officials who were crying sob.

"It is pack it, it seems you are indeed as diviner separated elephant that you care for many of this year, many more elephants is another," reassure the manager.

"But I'm not the diviner elephants," officials argue that it is.

"If you are not a diviner elephants ago why you crying?, who are you?," surprised the manager.

"My officers are ordered to dig graves for the elephant," answered while still crying.

Other Funny Humor:

Mc Hammed's Fast Food

Concentrate Otherwise....

Camel and CowBoy




dead elephant

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The blondes

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man ?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled _expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.

the blondes

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Learn Stand-up Comedy: The 20 Word Rule

Everyone who tries to learn stand-up comedy already knows that's One of the biggest problems most new comedians face when they are trying to learn stand-up comedy is that they can't seem to get to the punchlines quick enough in their act.

In other words, the set-ups to the jokes are too long. Way, way too long.

This is a real problem because in order to be recognized as comedian of any mention, you must be able to command at least 4 laughs per minute for each minute you stand before an audience.

And the secret is NOT to talk faster. As a matter of fact, you absolutely don't want to be in a hurry at all when standing in front of a comedy audience.

Please note that I said a minimum of 4 laughs per minute--headlining comedians get 6-8 laughs per minute.

Now, get ready to learn stand-up comedy from a different perspective.

Provided that you have a recording of your stand-up comedy act (audio or video) and have it transcribed on your word processor (word for word).

You can apply the 20 word rule to get the results you want. The 20 word rule is not a hard and fast rule--it is a very flexible editing guideline that you can use now to help shorten your set-ups or identify where to add punchlines.

Here's the simple process:

1. Use your transcribed comedy act and review your recording of that act. Make a visible mark at every point that you got laughs on your transcript.

2. Now go back and count the number of words that lead up to each laugh. If there are more than 20 words, the chances are great that you need to do some serious editing to shorten the set-up or add a punchline.

This concept applies to comedians who are employing old school joke writing techniques as well as those using the more powerful topic driven stand-up strategies.

For those who seriously want to learn stand-up comedy, it should be noted that household name headlining comedians only use 10-15 words (average) before they get to a punchline.

Again, I want to mention that the key is NOT talking faster on stage. It's about easily structuring what you really want to say, the way you speak naturally so that you can get the maximum laughs per minute possible every minute you are on stage.

There are more stand-up comedy techniques , tips and secrets on my Learn Stand-up Comedy Fast hub page.

About the Author

Steve Roye is a globally recognized expert in stand-up comedy material development and performance improvement. He is the author of the Killer Stand-up Comedy System.

Stand up comedy

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Anti-Humour - The New 'Alternative Comedy'?

Question:"What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?"

Answer:"Cancer."

Offensive? distasteful? Or funny? If you like this joke then you are one of a growing number of people to appreciate 'anti-humour', a new genre of humour gaining cult status in both the UK and US. Purposely countering comedy tradition, many say it is overtaking observational humour to become the new alternative comedy.

Wikipedia describes it as a type of indirect humour that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny or lacking in intrinsic meaning'. Originally an underground phenomenon, anti-humour now has a countless number of fans including mainstream comedians such as Bill Bailey and Jimmy Carr. Websites dedicated to jokes (such as comedy central's site) have caught onto the penomenon and have begun including an anti-humour or anti-joke section. But is anti-humour the future of comedy or just a passing phase?

In effect an umbrella term, Anti-humour takes under its wing a number of joke-telling styles. Below are some examples,

The mundane ending relies on introducing an unexpectedly commonplace ending.

Q:What is the difference between a boy and a girl?

A:The boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder.

Or in the unanticipated use of technical or circumlocutional language as in the popular Johnny big head joke below,

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head."

His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."

Nonsense jokes are funny because they have no meaning or are illogical or absurd.

A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the salesman says, "Well I'm all out of tuna fish."

So the guy says louder, "I want a ceiling fan."

But the salesman says, "I told you, I'm all out of tuna fish."

The guy frustrated, yells, "I WANT A CEILING FAN!"

Then the salesman takes his earplugs out, and says, "Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. I thought you were a guy who wanted tuna fish."

Dark humour attempts to shock the recipient, often taking something harmless and extracting humour by giving it a sinister twist (such as the dead baby jokes currently popular),

Q:Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden?

A:Statutory rape of a guard.

A shaggy dog story is an elongated and involved joke with a feeble or nonexistent ending. Its humour relies on its anti-climactic punch line. Take a look at this example ( http://www.badpuns.com/jokes.php?section=shaggy&name=shaggydog )

Although there is no doubt that there has been a recent upsurge in the popularity of 'anti-humour', it could be argued that the origins of the genre have been around since modern comedy began. Probably one of the oldest jokes on the comedy circuit is "The Aristocrats". Based on a short story involving a travelling family (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)), it encompasses all the above categories of "anti-humour" and is considered a kind of "secret handshake" amongst many comedians. So popular is it in fact, that in 2005 a documentary film was based on it, featuring comedians such as Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Connelly and Eric Idle. Nevertheless, it's recognition only recently is another example of the popularity anti-humour has gained of late.

Anti-humour is unashamedly a rebellion against the classic joke. By subverting the traditional ending and/or increasing it's shock value, it turns the classic joke on its head, mocking it with it's own format. One wonders whether anti-humour always existed, as a kind of relief to comedians tired of worn out jokes. Maybe it was a way to bring humour back to comedy, so it wasn't work anymore.

However, Todd Jackson writer of comedy blog http://www.dead-frog.com sees anti-humour more as a progression in comedy audience's tastes,

"It's for and from sophisticated audiences who know comedians and their tells well enough that it becomes funnier to watch humour eat its own tail than hear a tried-and-true punch line."

He references a New York Times article that talks of the general public being much more self-conscious about being funny and in this way suggests a similarity between observational humour and anti-humour.

Anti-humour appears to be keeping fresh what is clearly well-worn territory. In the way that some conceptual artists bring life to what is an old establishment by taking a traditional format and subverting it, one could say that anti-humour is breathing new life into a tired comedy tradition. Just as all art forms naturally progress, anti-humour appears to be the next step for comedy. Particularly popular with young people and one site paving the way for the genre is www.itsnotfunny.co.uk which has some really a good / bad examples of anti humor that are submitted by university students from all over the country. It seems that anti-humour will only gain popularity over the next couple of years and that it is undeniably here to stay.

Interestingly, Jackson mentions that his online aristocrats joke database now also includes some aristocrats jokes that include a straight and clean version of the family's act. It seems that even in the case of anti-humour, subversion can be subverted.

Anti Humour


joke - Google News